ICE Hiring Becomes Predictable Sh*tshow as They Burn Through Taxpayer Dollars

Why waste the money on roads when you can use it to arrest the nice tamale lady

It looks like Stephen Miller’s wet dream of creating his own American SS has hit a rough patch.

The Department of Homeland Security’s ICE hiring drive has become a “s--tshow,” with waves of untrained ICE agents arriving before badges, guns, or system access are ready for them.

The DHS has been struggling to add 10,000 extra ICE agents to their payroll to hit Miller and Trump’s insane target of 3,000 deportations a day. Despite their “catastrophic” vetting processes, that has already let in violent criminals, ICE Witch, Kristi Noem, keeps repeating the lie that around 85 percent of its hires will be experienced law enforcement returnees. And I’m no betting man, but I’d say some of those returrnees were probably let go for brutality, domestic violence, or some other behavior that left them unfit to serve.

Insiders are now revealing that the minimal training program has led to disorder, with some veteran agents performing minimal work for maximum pay and burning through taxpayer dollars.

“In many offices, the rehires showed up and we had nothing for them,” one Homeland Security Investigations (HSI) veteran said.

“It has just been going so fast that the process is messed up. It has been chaotic to handle. Make no mistake, it is a s--tshow right now.”

DHS insiders said the opportunity to earn easy money has lured back former executive-level leaders from HSI and Enforcement and Removal Operations (ERO)—with some of them taking home $250,000 for glorified desk work.

According to those familiar with the salary packages, the most senior HSI ex-members return as GS-13s on the federal pay scale. So, in high-cost areas such as Texas, California, and New York, there is an additional 35 percent or more added to a basic salary. This means that agents can earn up to $137,000 in the majority of the country. This rises to $171,268 in more expensive parts of the country, such as San Jose and San Francisco. All for menial and meaningless work.

Law Enforcement Availability Pay (LEAP) adds an ADDITIONAL 25 percent for being available for unscheduled duty beyond 40 hours. Then there’s the federal pensions worth around $8,000–$9,000 a month, and it’s easy for these rehires to make over a quarter of a million annually.

Most of these returnees were being assigned to temporary posts “with no supervision,” which allowed permanent employees, aka the jack-booted thugs we’ve all seen videos of terrorizing people, to “get on the streets and make arrests.”

“Some older retired rehires are basically doing office-based shiftwork admin jobs, with no supervision, for like $300,000,” says one HSI agent.

Noem, who promised $10k bonus checks to TSA workers who worked through the government shutdown without pay, has no worries about going over budget thanks to Trump’s Big Beautiful Bill, which gave DHS a historic $165 billion to play with. Hopefully, most of this money gets misappropriated and not put towards more of the violence the ICE goons keep bringing to peaceful cities.

“There are calls with Miller, where everyone is being screamed at,” the official said. “The targets he is setting for them are ridiculous, and it is a case of them just spending any money they can to increase the number of officers and deportations.”

In response, a spokesperson for the department released a statement saying: “ICE is NOT employing people for $300k a year to do administrative work.”

When asked whether it was paying some rehires $200,000 a year in salary and LEAP alone, there was silence. There was also no rebuttal of the entire department being a “shitshow.”